


Mission Parameters

by bluemermaid



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bi!Skye, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Lesbian!Jemma, More angst, UST, Unrequited Love, probably not canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 11:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4262061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemermaid/pseuds/bluemermaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Falling in love isn't one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mission Parameters

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flipflop_diva](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/gifts).



> Yes, well, I apologize if this fic swings wildly away from canon events/interactions; my muse just went wherever it wanted without consulting me, lol. Also I know Bobbi is your favorite so I apologize again for not including her as much as I'd originally planned to. I really hope you enjoy this, and I looooooooooove you!! <3

Simmons is sobbing and Skye feels her heart shatter, feels her own eyes burn as the room blurs in her vision. She can barely stand up, can barely breathe, can't even _feel_ because she's just feeling too much. After all the shit she's been through lately, Skye cannot handle this.

"It's just, I just, I just feel so awful," Simmons chokes out, barely able to speak, and Skye sits down hard beside her on the bed, wraps her arms around her before she can allow herself to even think.

"It's okay," Skye tells her, though she can hardly believe it herself. She's always felt so strongly for others, has always been so connected to the downtrodden and the oppressed. She's always felt as though her heart could burst at any moment, just under the weight of other people's troubles. And now her own.

Simmons – Jemma – hugs Skye tightly, cries hard onto her shoulder, hiccups and sniffles and tries to speak even when the words won't come. Skye has a pretty good idea she knows, though, just what Jemma is trying to say.

They've been inseparable for ages, FitzSimmons, one unit, moving and thinking in tandem, usually faster than Skye is able to keep up with them. They're always together, they've been through it all, and now Fitz is unconscious and Simmons is alone. Even with Skye beside her, Simmons is alone.

"He's going to be okay," Skye says fiercely, willing it to be so. She may have her secrets, but she loves Fitz, too, cannot imagine a world without him. And so how it must be for Jemma...it breaks Skye's heart. For several reasons.

Jemma pulls back and clumsily wipes away her tears, rubs her nose and looks away for a moment, staring down at nothing. "He told me that he loved me," she says morosely, incredulously.

"Oh, God, Simmons." Skye feels her heart drop like the heaviest of weights. How can she feel so much pain and sadness, and for such opposing thoughts? "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. But he's going to wake up, and then you two can – "

"No." Jemma's response is swift, almost harsh, and Skye stops abruptly, with her pulse pounding in her ears. Jemma is shaking her head and she's about to start sobbing again, it is vibrating throughout her body. "No, no, it isn't that at all, it's just wrong, it's all wrong, he's my best _friend_ and I – " she breaks off, gasping for air, and Skye feels a rush of heat go through her like a bolt of lightning, like thunder in her soul.

"Oh," Skye says, hesitating, forcing the air through her nose slowly, calmly. She looks Jemma in the eye. "Jemma, I'm so sorry."

There is a brief silence, charged with intensity, and Jemma is crying but she's so fucking _beautiful_ , and Fitz is lying in a coma downstairs so Skye must be the worst person _on this planet_ but then Jemma rushes forward and they're kissing, mouths smashed together in a mess of emotions. It's attraction and heat and it's sadness; it is grief.

It is the spark which has been waiting to ignite for months, which lay just beneath the thin layer of Ward and Fitz and mission details. But Ward is a traitor and Fitz...oh, how shitty Skye feels about Fitz. But he is Jemma's _best friend_. He's Jemma's best friend.

Skye kisses Jemma – or does Jemma kiss Skye, she can't even say – until they have burned out that spark, until reality settles in once again and they break apart, the both of them disheveled and struggling to breathe, struggling to put into words how they are feeling. Skye feels more overwhelmed than she ever has, and for her that is something.

"Skye." Jemma's eyes are wide. "Skye, I'm so sorry, I – "

"No, no, no," Skye says quickly, shaking her head, placing her palms on Jemma's cheeks. "No, Jemma. It's okay."

Jemma slips out a sigh, something sad and yet relieved, and they collapse together, their bodies touching in the dark. Skye cradles Jemma close and soothes her into sleep, humming a lullaby and promising silently that everything will be okay. But although Jemma drifts away and is soon enough asleep, Skye lies awake for some time, staring off into nothing. Her heart rate will not slow back to a decent rate. She has no idea what is going to happen next.

What happens is that Jemma gets sent off to Hydra.

Skye storms into Coulson's office with her eyes blazing, her hair flying off her shoulders in her rush to get in there, to do something, to put a stop to this. "Is this some kind of sick joke?" she demands, shaking her head, throwing her arms out as though to fling her anger at him, as though it were a tangible thing for her to use as a weapon. "How can you send her out there at a time like this? It's dangerous, and she's not ready, Coulson! How can you force her to leave when – ?"

"Skye," Coulson cuts in; his voice is gentle yet firm. "Agent Simmons volunteered for this mission."

And so the bottom drops out. Skye does not know what to say; she stares blinking for a moment. "Oh," she says quietly, shrinking away, her eyes darting down to the floor. 

"I understand your feelings," Coulson tells her, which nearly makes Skye laugh out loud, because how could he possibly know, when _she_ doesn't even know. But AC has always made Skye feel better when her world is falling down. His smile brings some small amount of comfort to her. "But Simmons can handle this. I think she needs the break." He hesitates, waiting until Skye looks him in the eye. "Fitz is going to be okay."

And of course Skye is worried about Fitz, she always has been, but doesn't that just miss the point. Her heart is breaking and nobody will even know why. She wonders if Jemma will even know. 

Jemma doesn't even say goodbye and Skye knows rationally that it's because of this thing between them, that they can't figure out how to talk about it and that Jemma's always been such a terrible liar. Skye laughs to herself; the worst liar she's ever met and _she's_ the one going undercover. God help her. God help them all.

Time passes and everything is happening so fast, the team evolves and Skye begins training with May and there's not enough time to worry about such small things as relationships. What has Skye ever gotten out of romance, anyway? Betrayal and abandonment. She stands looking Ward in the eye and she has never hated a person more in her entire life. This is what she dreams of in her heart of hearts? No. No.

Skye grows harder and she pretends that it goes all the way through, that she isn't still a bleeding wreck of emotions on the inside. As every day passes it gets easier for her to pretend.

_I should be the one undercover. I'd fool everyone._

She eventually even fools herself.

***

"And this," Jemma says, with a smile that lights up the room, "is Bobbi Morse."

Skye can't stop staring at her. In her time away Jemma seems to have become an entirely different person. There is a new confidence in her eyes, the way she stands; Simmons has always been secure when she's in her element, working in the lab or exploring a new environment, but now that same look surrounds her at every moment. It makes her even more beautiful.

But Jemma has avoided Skye since the moment she returned, has only given her the merest hint of a smile before turning her attention back to the group at large. It is yet another knife in Skye's heart, as if she hasn't had enough of those already. And now Jemma's staring at Bobbi Morse as though the woman were a goddess. Simmons has never looked at Skye like _that._

Agent Morse is friendly and competent, and seems like a good addition to the team, especially when Skye learns that she dislikes Lance (she can't seem to fully trust the guy, but then she wonders if that's merely the unfortunate side effect of having worked with Ward). Skye could definitely get to like Bobbi, _could_ being the operative word. Because Jemma looks at her _that_ way and Skye can't stop remembering the night that they kissed, can't stop thinking that she is the _only_ one who remembers the night that they kissed.

What does she have to do, she wonders, throw up giant blinking neon signs in Jemma's direction? It doesn't look like that would do any good. Bobbi Morse's sign would always shine brighter. And it's not like Skye wants to create some sort of _competition_. She's not a little girl anymore and she's not out to get anyone. She wants to save everyone, and if Bobbi is what Jemma needs to be saved, well...Skye doesn't stand in people's way.

So she backs off and spends her free time glaring at Ward, trying to get information out of him. She once thought she could never hate him any more, but she can. When she thinks about how much time she wasted being attracted to a traitor...she hates him more every time she sees Agent Simmons smiling at anyone other than Skye.

But then the world just keeps on falling apart and Skye doesn't have _time_ , she can't even _think_ about such stupid little problems as a schoolgirl crush. It's training and it's missions and it's the evergrowing darkness of Skye's own past...her own self. Who is she, really? It is the question she has always longed to answer, greater than anything else that could be thrown into her path, greater even than Jemma Simmons. And so Skye doesn't have time.

She still wonders, though. When she's beside Bobbi Morse and the two of them are fighting off Hydra agents in tandem, Skye looks at her and she wonders. Agent Morse is capable – more than capable – she's a fucking amazing agent, she's strong and she's intelligent and somehow still she's human, so much more than the cold and calculating May, who is amazing in her own right but still, sometimes, makes Skye nervous. And you would think someone like Bobbi would also make Skye nervous, nervous about the whole Jemma thing and potentially even hating Morse for being so admired. But it takes a lot more than that to make Skye hate someone. At this point in her life she can really only say she hates one person, and that person is literally locked away in her basement. 

Either way, Bobbi isn't a person who inspires hate. Not at all. On the contrary, they end up working well together, and Skye feels nothing but respect. There can never be too many capable women by her side. 

She even gets used to having Agent Morse on the team, and has almost forgotten about everything – as well as she can pretend to forget – when she sees them, coming around a corner in a dark hallway just in time to hear Jemma's little startled gasp as Bobbi puts her hands upon the other girl's face, drawing in to kiss her.

They are alone, in a dimly lit sector of their secret headquarters, and not expecting anyone to happen upon them. Or perhaps they are so caught up in one another that it has not even crossed their minds, the question of exposure. Either way, Skye is seeing them and she shouldn't be, but she cannot look away.

Of course she's wondered, of course she's seen, but to _see_ is another matter entirely, a whole new hit to the heart. Skye feels alone and tumbling; she swallows and finally, finally turns her head, walks away.

She used to feel unwanted, unloved; when she was younger all she'd wanted was a family to call her own. Skye went out into the world and she took what she wanted, she made the downtrodden her sisters and the exploited her brothers. She slipped into S.H.I.E.L.D. and they became her parents, her lovers, her friends. She found her place here, and she had it torn away.

But Skye is nothing if not resilient; she battles her way through sadness and strife and pain. Something as simple as a kiss cannot break her when she has been through so much worse. It's just another strike against her bulletproof armor. Even if it hurts, she survives. She's survived this long without love. 

Something makes her check on Coulson then. Being in his presence, taking care of him as he takes care of her, it makes her feel better. He's been so preoccupied with the symbols that he hasn't been his old comforting self lately, but that's okay. He still looks at her with the smile in his eyes, and Skye feels safe.

***

Jemma looks afraid to be left alone with Skye, and Skye can't blame her. She's been attached to Bobbi Morse for days and it makes Skye angry, that there could be this awkward silence between them after all they've been through. 

"Skye," Jemma says breathlessly, wringing her hands. "I'm so sorry."

Skye shakes her head, puts her hands up, waves off the words. "It's fine," she says. "I get it. Really."

Jemma bites her lip. "It's just been so much. Everything...I'm just rather overwhelmed?" Her voice becomes pleading, questioning, worried. Skye can't help but smile; she's still adorable Simmons underneath her newfound confidence, her focus on the next stage of their lives. "I'm so much better with facts, and science. Just, put me in a laboratory, you know? I can't deal with...." She gestures between them, helplessly. "All of this. I can't _explain_ it. Things just _happen_ and I'm...I get confused."

"It's okay, Simmons," Skye tells her. "Things got weird. Let's just start over, yeah?" She grins. "How's things with Morse?"

Jemma grimaces, looks away. "She's...she saved my life."

And does that break Skye's heart all over again. "I'm glad," she gets out, through the lump in her throat. "She's pretty amazing."

Their eyes meet, and a bolt of understanding passes between them, the spark igniting once again. Jemma _knows_ , and Skye _gets it._

"I've always been like this," Jemma says quietly, wrapping her arms around herself and shrinking in, becoming small and nervous again. "Fitz and I...well, you know, we were...us. But I was always...I didn't feel like that. I never expected anyone...and now there's you and...and I just _admire_ you both and I never expected that, it's honestly just extremely overwhelming."

Skye smiles and leans in, bumps Jemma's shoulder playfully then wraps an arm around her, pulling her in close. "It's okay," she says, and means it. Happiness is all she wants for the world; it's all she wants for Jemma. She never expected to have anyone for herself so permanently, anyway. She's gotten along just fine without it. 

Simmons sighs and leans her head on Skye's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Skye," she says again, nearly whispering, as her eyes flutter closed. "I never imagined she would...."

Skye gives a little chuckle of laughter. She isn't surprised in the slightest. But she really does feel like everything is going to be okay.

***

"Behind you," Bobbi shouts, and Skye spins, taking out an attacker and ducking before the window shatters in. They run, Bobbi grabbing Skye's hand, and the walls flash past in blurred stripes of color as they skid around corners, tucking into the edges of the far rooms.

Skye collapses in a heap of tangled breath and limbs, wiping her hair off her forehead. She looks over at Bobbi, who appears flawless as always, collected and ready for the next step. She and May are good at that; Skye is still learning. Bobbi grins over at her as she reloads her gun. "All this excitement and I'm gonna need a stiff drink after this is over," she says. 

Skye smiles back. "I could go for that," she replies.

"You're welcome to join me any time," Bobbi tells her with a meaningful look, and Skye feels a brief stab of panic before her senses crowd back in. The enemy forces burst in and they leap to their feet, guns blazing in the showdown, and there is no longer time to think, no longer time to wonder if there is room in Skye's heart for anyone else, if there is space in the world to try again.

It's strange, this dream, this idea of sharing feelings with more than one person and having them want you too. But what in this world isn't strange? Skye's seen and dealt with things a lot more fucked up than this.

"Falling in love isn't really part of the mission," Bobbi will joke later, because she has experience at this sort of thing. Jemma will flush and Skye will laugh. She's done a lot of things that weren't part of the mission. What's one more mistake? She puts her heart out even if it will get broken, because what good is a heart otherwise? That's Skye's biggest asset: her heart. So she's gonna use it.


End file.
